My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
