just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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