I hate your face
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
