It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
