she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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