We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
