these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
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