I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
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The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
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You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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