we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
