This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
