I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
