Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
