fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
