Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My liver just broke up with me...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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