is your mom at the bar?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
