I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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