dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
