who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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