new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
