he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
