I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
