Is it normal to miss your booty call?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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