Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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