he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
