you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think I sprained my soul last night
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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