there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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