My nipple is on Facebook.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Is it because I queefed?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
