i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
