I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize