at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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