i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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