I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize