He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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