So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
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I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
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