It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
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I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
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Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.