I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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