i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
