I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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