Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
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I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
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When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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