Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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