Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
