I think my vagina is haunted
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
