Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
