im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
