if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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