Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
