Already got asked if we're dating
look no pants
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
