how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Are these your boobs on my camera?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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