She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Actions speak louder than pants.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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