hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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