Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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