True but thats because hes a fetus.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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