I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
