Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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