O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
