awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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